As I mentioned before, I am taking a Relational Spirituality Coaching Certification Course this fall with Dr. Todd Hall. He has done a wonderful job of developing a matrix that shows the movement from Relational Engagement to Relational Avoidance, and from Emotional Distress to Emotional Composure as he lays out the four quadrants of attachment: Secure Base, Anxious (Overprotect), Fearful (Detach) and Avoidant (Coerce).
In this video, I describe ways to utilize this Attachment Filter Matrix in understanding our attachment style with God and others, and also the attachment style we tend to move towards when under more stress.
I hope you’ll enjoy this little discussion of ways that we connect with God and others and form more secure attachments. Growing towards a more Secure Attachment is desirable, and provides a secure base where we’re more emotionally regulated, have a genuine confidence, and experience emotional closeness.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic, and how you’d answer these questions Dr. Todd Hall encourages us to ask ourselves and others:
How do you typically react when you feel insecure or unsafe in a relationship?
Do you tend to pull away or move closer?
Remember that these styles are ADAPTATIONS, not FLAWS, so there’s no need for shame or blame if you find you tend to be anxious or avoidant or fearful in your relationships. It’s possible to grow and develop more secure attachments.
If you’re in relationship with others and you want to help them grow in this area, one thing you can do is try to be a Loving Presence as you relate to them.
I’m so thankful that God loves us with a steadfast love, and His enduring devotion is fully trustworthy. He delights in you and sings over you with love! Zephaniah 3:17
Blessings and love from Oregon,
Sue
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