As your days are, so shall your strength be...

Exploring the life-changing concept of Margin, with ideas from Dr. Richard Swenson's excellent book on this topic.

"As your days are, so shall your strength be..." This Old Testament verse has long blessed me.

So does this quote: "She recollecteth times of great peril, when deliverance came; hours of awful need, when as her day her strength was found, and she cries, 'No, I never will be led to think that He can change and leave His servant now." -C.H. Spurgeon

The truth is, life can be really challenging sometimes. Even what should be joyful occasions can end up being stressful.

We had a difficult weekend. This heat wave is rough. With MS, heat affects my health adversely. As we try to get ready for a trip, my husband and I mostly stressed each other out. We both had short fuses.

I felt very sad I couldn’t respond with more grace and patience. Being human is a tough gig.

I share this as a reminder that although life can drag us down a bit, His mercies are new every morning. His lovingkindness won’t waver. His acceptance and grace aren’t fickle. He knows our frame. He is mindful we are but dust. But as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His loving kindness towards us. (Psalm 103)

It’s supposed to be 105 degrees here today. My to do list is long. My strength is already waning after watering the garden and flowers in an effort to keep them alive. But His provision and Presence will sustain me.

(Photos were taken at Deepwood Manor by Sue Kuenzi)

Do you ever have times when your capacity to handle things doesn’t match the demands of the day? I sure do.

I really love the concept of a book that’s been around for a long time. The book is called:

Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives

by Richard A. Swenson MD, Claton Butcher, et al.

My first copy of this book was an earlier edition (see the reference below), but when I read this book, I marveled at the simple yet powerful concepts.

You see, Dr. Richard Swenson led a very busy life as a physician. But he took a very honest look at the demands of his work and reevaluated how he’d really prefer to live. I remember nodding my head as I read his wise words.

Margin is the opposite of overload.

As Dr Swenson wrote, “Margin is the amount allowed beyond that which is needed. It is something held in reserve for contingencies or unanticipated situations. Margin is the gap between rest and exhaustion, the space between breathing freely and suffocating. It is the leeway we once had between ourselves and our limits.”

The encouraging thing is that we can take care to avoid overload, and then margin reappears. Dr. Swenson reminds us that when we fill our schedules without being mindful of the threshold point at which we feel overloaded and overwhelmed, we get overbooked.

“If we were equipped with a flashing light to indicate ‘100 percent full,’ we could better gauge our capacities. But we don’t have such an indicator light, and we don’t know when we have overextended until we feel the pain. As a result people commit to a 120% life and wondefr why the burden feels so heavy. It is rare to see a life scheduled to only 80%, leaving a margin for responding to the unexpected…” Dr. Swenson wrote.

Oh, how Richard Swenson’s words resonated with me the first time I read them. At that time, I was working too hard. In my younger years, the hard working patterns I learned growing up on a farm served me well in many ways. I often worked more than one job, and I truly thrived as a teacher. I found work to be a great joy, so whenever I was offered more teaching gigs, I accepted.

After returning from China, I had a day job teaching adults from around the globe at a language school for international students next to the university in my rural town. But that job didn’t have the best benefits, so when the community college asked me to teach for them, I gladly said yes. I took my morning/day job because I loved the variety of students and the relationships this role enabled me to develop. I often rented my spare rooms to international students, and on Friday nights, I hosted a Bible study at my house along with the Chinese church college group. We invited young people from Japan, Korea, Chile, Sweden and many other parts of the world. This melting pot of cultures provided a place for lively discussions and a chance to give account for the hope within me. Those were such fruitful, wonderful years.

Being single at the time, I also wore other hats. As I said, I took a job at the local community college teaching several evening classes in ESL as an adjunct. So I’d grab my bag of books and resources and head for those classes in two different towns. And if that wasn’t enough, I also had the chance to teach workplace ESL at a large and prosperous nursery called Monrovia Nursery. That job was a pure delight. I loved teaching these wonderful immigrants working in agriculture. But do you see the problem?

For several years, I led this amazing life that often felt filled to overflowing. I actually think God enabled me to live at this pace, with His grace, for that season of time. But of course, that’s not a sustainable way to live. With these various jobs, I was able to save enough money to buy an acre of land and to build a modest two story home on that property.

To backtrack a little, I really longed for stability and a home to use for His purposes. As a single woman who had worked overseas just prior to these years, I had a desire to put down some roots, and I needed more space to host the Friday night Bible Fellowship group I mentioned earlier. I had been renting a small apartment, and we were bursting at the seams. We actually had to scoot the furniture around to allow more international students to sit on the carpeted floor. I call this a “Happy Problem” but I still sensed God calling me to find a home. So I started looking for houses, and even put an offer on a fixer upper. However, that home went to someone who paid over the asking price, so I knew God must have something different for me.

I remember when I received a call from my realtor, a lovely Christian woman who was praying with me for the right fit. She told me with measured enthusiasm that there was an acre just south of town that I might like to look at. Not realizing how close this land was to my apartment, I drove out to the address she gave me for the listing. My heart leapt for joy. I walked out onto the grassy field, and knelt down under the lone tree standing in the middle of the acre. I prayed, committing this decision to Him, and asking Him if He’d like to make it possible for me to buy this land. Soon, I made an offer and before long, I had a grass field and a place to build my dreams and space for the growing ministry I enjoyed so much.

I’ll share the story of how this home came into existence (there were a number of miracles, and things only God could do, in that process) another time. But I remember writing these words on the back of a cross I hung in my bathroom: When a home is fully dedicated to His purposes, God pays the mortgage.

And He did.

But during those years of working extremely hard, I also had health issues cropping up again. I had to buy a different vehicle and sometimes I would have to pull my Chevy Blazer over and lay down in the back for a bit. I just wasn’t feeling all that well. I started praying about accepting fewer jobs the next term.

I’ll always remember one night I had a dream. I dreamt that my bed was filled with students, packed in like sardines. Well, what I mean is they were laying side by side with nary an inch left to turn, and the whole bed was full of these lovely people. (Sorry if the sardines image isn’t pleasant, but I’m not responsible for my subconscious thoughts or dreams, right?) And you know what? I woke up from that dream, laying on the cold hard floor beside my bed, with my arm stretched up trying to feel for a space on the mattress for myself!!!

After that very vivid dream, I understood the clear message my subconscious was trying to tell me. I was doing too much!! I needed some of that margin Dr. Swenson so aptly described!

(This photo is one I took at my friend’s beautiful century farm in Oregon. I love her front porch, and my brain cells melt into a puddle of relaxation just looking at Teresa’s porch swing.)

“Power minus load equals margin.” His words hit me hard. “When our load is greater than our power, we enter into negative margin status, that is, we are overloaded. Endured long term, this is not a healthy state. Severe negative margin for an extended period of time is another name for burnout.” He goes on to say, “When our power is greater than the load, however, we have margin.”

So where could I find some margin? How about you, is margin in short supply in your life currently?

I loved this quote from chapter seven, which described margin in emotional energy: “Of the four margins—emotional energy, physical energy, time and finances,—margin in emotional energy is paramount. When we are emotionally resilient, we can confront our problems with a sense of hope and power. When our psychic reserves are depleted, however, we are seriously weakened. Emotional overload saps our strength, paralyzes our resolve, and maximizes our vulnerability, leaving the door open for even further margin erosion.”

Power - Load = Margin

So how are you doing with margin in your life?

This weekend, my husband and I both lost our composure. Our emotions were ragged. This heat wave meant poor sleep and extra responsibilities as I try to keep our garden alive in the oppressive heat. We’re packing for some time away, and there are many details to attend to.

I lost my cool for sure!! I might have yelled a few times. I never like it when I’m angry and short fused. It’s humbling. Of course, he felt angry and told me a thing or two. The friction between us left us both feeling frustrated and hurt.

The load exceeded our power. Our emotional reserves were running on fumes, or in the red. Things went downhill and I apologized several times, asking his forgiveness before bed last night.

As someone with a serious neurological condition (MS is progressive, and I’ve had it for years), I often bump into my limitations. Daily. Just walking enough on this vacation will be really tough for me. While a cruise ship holds delights from what I’ve heard, I am concerned about covering the ground and staying upright. I can’t see very well due to that retina tear.

Packing in this heat and preparing for our time away hasn’t been easy. Today we both have a lot of work to do…he has a busy job in health care that he still does from home. My client cancelled because of the high temperatures.

Our capacity and strength doesn’t equal the demands or load. So I am going to rely on the Lord this week for the grace we need. I’m praying that I can be more patient and kind, despite not feeling well. Heat is particularly tough with MS. It slows my nerve conduction and makes falls more likely. I can’t see or function nearly as well in hot weather. In short, it’s hard.

But those words from God’s Word always help me. I can still hear the southern drawl of my teammate Fanny in China as she would tell me, “Remember, Sue: As your days are, so shall your strength be…”

No matter how hard the load feels today, roll those burdens onto His shoulders. Trust Him for the strength you need for THIS day. THESE challenges.

And when you can, take time to pray about creating more margin in your life. If you saw a page with words covering every single inch on the page, your brain and your eyes might scream in anguish. We need white space. We need the sacred Selah. The pause.

After reading Dr. Swenson’s book years ago, I thought about how this busy doctor deliberately changed his life to allow for margin. If someone stops by for a visit, I also want to be unhurried and un-frazzled. Pacing is vital for me, for my marriage, and for my health.

The other evening, my friend texted me and said she was in the area with her granddaughter and she sure would like to stop by for a hug.

A hug.

I smiled with pure joy when I read her text, and I told her I would be delighted to see them both. When they arrived, they hugged my dog, and the three of us went to the office behind my house so we could leave my husband’s solitude undisturbed while we visited.

I loved that spontaneous visit.

And you know what? Margin allowed me to enjoy this time.

Create space for what you value most.

Leave some margin in your life emotionally where you’re able. Your emotional regulation sensor will thank you!!

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With love from Oregon,

Sue

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Quotes are from this wonderful book:

Swenson, MD, Richard A. Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives. Colorado: NavPress, 2002.